We live in a realm of polarity. Light and dark, night and day, moon and sun, yin and yang. Essentially, the fabric of our existence is constructed of opposites that weave and unite to create a whole. We can look at this dance in the language of feminine and masculine. Note that by this, I do not mean man and woman, as all humans regardless of any gender identification contain both masculine and feminine energies.
In our patriarchal world, we tend to be most familiar with these energies in their wounded state. However, what I am referring to here and what we will be exploring in this article is the divine masculine (or the sacred masculine) and the divine feminine (or the sacred feminine) – that is, these two energies in their purity, beneath any patriarchal constructs or illusions.
In this article, we will be focusing mostly on the power of the sacred feminine essence and how you can invite more of her creativity, juicy magic and pleasure into your life.
Stay tuned for 5 powerful tools that I like to call Divine Feminine Secrets.
First, let’s answer the question, “What is the divine feminine and divine masculine?”
In the simplest sense, the divine masculine is consciousness/presence/awareness.
The divine feminine is matter/energy/form.
The feminine and the masculine are both equally and intrinsically vital to our existence. Without the feminine, the masculine would simply be consciousness floating through space, with nothing to observe. Without the masculine, the beautiful dance of the feminine would never be noticed and appreciated. The sacred union of these two primordial polarities create the masterpiece we call life.
When divine masculine energy and divine feminine energy express themselves in their purest form, there is a mutual respect between both – the masculine honors the feminine and the feminine honors the masculine. Both polarities recognize and give thanks for the unique essence that the other carries, never trying to take from or dominate over the other. Essentially, when the feminine and masculine manifest as divine, they unite to make pure Love.
However, in our patriarchal paradigm, we do not see this synergistic dance between the feminine and the masculine. Rather, we see the mess created through mass power struggle – masculine dominating over feminine, feminine giving up her power.
Like most of us, I grew up witnessing and experiencing primarily the wounded expressions of the feminine and masculine – both within myself and in those around me. Overall, I did not feel connected to my power, my boundaries, my authentic truth or my pleasure. I often operated through “doing-mode,” attempting to have control over everything in my life (with a very harsh inner critic, I might add), and thus disconnected from the natural flow, ease and grace of divine feminine energy lying mostly dormant within me. I found it hard to say ‘no,’ especially in my sexual experiences, and as I was never taught how to cultivate, honor and nourish my own pleasure, my body simply became something to give away – often in hopes of receiving love and approval from men.
Once I began to tap into the wisdom of the sacred feminine, however, I started to realize the societal lies I had been fed and chose to embark on a healing journey to open back up to my body’s incredible potential for love, beauty, surrender, magic and bliss that my divine feminine essence so eagerly wished to reveal.
I’ve seen firsthand in myself and in my clients how much power the sacred feminine holds when she is set free. When she no longer succumbs to the chains of the wounded masculine. When she rises from the ashes of the patriarchal fire and chooses to dance in her authenticity. When she takes on goddess form.
When we do the work to heal and recognize the divine feminine and masculine within us, we support not only ourselves but the collective as well. Truly, this healing of internal polarities is the medicine that will seed a new world of co-creation, collaboration, harmony, and joyous radiance for all.
This is how we birth life as Love.
Before we dive in, I invite you to take a moment to think about the way that you feel when you are somewhere breath-taking-ly beautiful – perhaps at a quiet beach – and everything feels so perfect – the temperature of the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the water kissing your feet… You have nothing to do here; all your worries seem to effortlessly fall away.
Now tune in to how your body might be responding in an environment such as this. Maybe you are smiling, your heart feeling open and alive. You might naturally take deeper breaths and feel your muscles release tension.
You can also tap into this energy by imagining the way a young child acts at the beach. They run, play, laugh, jump, dance, make sounds – you can feel the joy and the raw aliveness exuding from their beings.
Now think about the way that you feel when you are moving through your daily life, ticking boxes off your list, driving, typing, cleaning, working, getting this and that done.
In this environment, consider how your body responds… Are you smiling? How does your heart feel? Are your muscles relaxed or tight? How is your breathing? Do you feel joyful? Free? Pleasured? Alive?
You might notice that in this setting, you feel tense. Your breathing may be shallow and unnoticed, the mind might be cluttered, and the heart may be closed down.
And so, to remedy this, of course it is wonderful to make more time for joyful gallivants in nature (…and I highly recommend that you do! :)), but given that we also have to balance and juggle life’s often not as enjoyable tasks, what if we could incorporate the same pleasurable elements of beach-time into laundry and desk-time?
This is the beauty of the sacred feminine. She is limitless, and you can invite her goddess magic in anytime, anywhere.
The following Divine Feminine Secrets are simple and highly effective ways that you can begin experiencing expansive states of pleasure and joy in all areas of your life.
Know that at first, these concepts might feel like yet another thing to “do,” because yes, at first, you do have to think about it, as you consciously create new habit patterns. But with practice, you will most likely begin to notice how much more juicy, free, embodied, and alive you feel, and these practices will evolve from something you are doing, to your natural and desired way of being.
(Plus, to ease the mind of the busy queen, note that these tools involve little to no extra time in your day, as they are more of an evolution of how you do what you already do.)
And, I will tell you from personal experience, that these secrets absolutely work!
So, let’s dive in…
This secret is two-fold. We can think of the first part like the divine masculine secret.
To experience all of the magic of the feminine, we also need to be tuned into our divine masculine energy, which in the simplest sense is our pure light of awareness – presence.
One of the main reasons that we often feel disconnected from love, joy, pleasure and bliss, is because we are disconnected from the state of presence – and therefore, our true selves. We are often trying to escape what is – projecting our minds into the past and future, disconnecting from our bodies, emotions and internal sensations, as well as unconsciously allowing our inherited and conditioned patterns, wounds and belief systems to rule our reality.
If we wish to shift from autopilot mode to conscious creatress, we must choose healing and be fully present with our experiences in each moment. This means not running away from your feelings, fears, desires, needs, and emotions. When you can be aware of your energy, accept and own your experiences (even if you don’t agree with them), fully feel your emotions and allow them to move through your body – then you will step into your authentic power and have the capacity to take the aligned actions that ultimately serve your highest good.
As you move through your day, begin to notice what arises for you in any given moment, taking note of things like:
How do I feel?
What stories or belief systems am I telling myself?
Am I judging, criticizing or shaming myself for certain actions or desires?
What sensations is my body feeling? …Do I feel pain, tension, numbness, pleasure, expansiveness? / Where are these sensations located in my body?
What emotions are flowing through me?
Now begin to name what you are noticing.
“I am noticing… a tight sensation in my belly.”
“I am noticing… that my heart feels constricted after that conversation.”
“I am noticing…that I am feeling like I am not good enough.”
“I am noticing… that I am pushing myself right now to get this done, when I really want to rest.”
“I am noticing… a tingling sensation of joy in my chest.”
“I am noticing… that I have a deep desire to receive touch.”
Whatever is there, just be with it. Breathe with it. Allow it. Welcome it. Get curious about it, but don’t judge it.
Give yourself permission to be as you are.
It is only through our capacity to be present with the full spectrum of life that we are able to receive it’s juicy and pleasurable blessings.
So now for part two of this divine feminine secret…
Focusing your awareness into the pelvic bowl to turn on your pleasure potential.
Oftentimes our energy is stuck in the upper regions of the body, especially the head. We often have little to no awareness of our lower body unless it is in pain, literally crying out for our attention after so much neglect. We have sadly been taught that our sexual organs are dirty and shameful, and so we can be very accustomed to disassociating from this area. However, in this sacred seat of our life force energy, our raw erotic power, we hold such vast potential for juiciness, aliveness, vitality, creativity, and pleasure. And while we can consciously choose to share our pleasure with others (consensually of course), ultimately, your pleasure is your pleasure, and it’s for you. It is such a beautiful reclamation to bring love and awareness back into this holy space between the thighs.
Make a conscious habit of resting your awareness into your pelvis, especially your yoni. Notice what you feel here. Is there any tension or holding? Root your energy down, fully relaxing the tissues, as if there were a waterfall of energy flowing down through your body, anchoring into the Earth Mother. Breathe. Sigh. Soften.
This is an amazing practice to do any time, especially when you are getting stuck in your head. The more you practice pelvic/yoni awareness, the more you will likely start to notice natural pleasure, sensuality, and erotic life force awaken and expand. Enjoy the innocence, beauty, and magic of your life force energy – it is your birthright.
To help you cultivate this awareness, you can explore one of my guided meditations, Pussy Presence. It’s a beautiful 37-minute journey that will support you to cultivate deep internal presence and attune to the magic of your sacred feminine life force.
Important Note: Dear one, recognize that oftentimes we do not feel pleasure because there is pain or numbness covering it up – the pain and numbness that comes from our deeply wounded patriarchal culture that has filled us with lies and illusions around our bodies and sacred sexuality. Most of us have experienced some form of sexual trauma, as this can be as “simple” as being shamed for masturbating as a child. There is much to sit with, hold space for, and release from our yoni temples. It is not an easy, quick or straightforward process, and I highly encourage you to seek outside support from teachers, facilitators, and mentors who can guide you to truly heal your sacred space.
We cannot force pleasure. But presence is the only thing that will allow it to emerge when it’s ready. So, this is always the first step – simply being present with whatever you feel – pain, numbness, anger, fear, etc. – being with all that is within your precious body through a space of non-judgment and loving-kindness.
Breath is one of our most potent tools for transformation. And, since it is naturally flowing through our bodies each and every moment, it is a gift we can pretty much always tune in to, no matter what else is going on in our life.
From a Yogic perspective, the breath is considered to be the bridge between the body and the mind.
Therefore, it is a potent way to come into the body, calm the mind and nervous system, feel sensation, free our emotions, connect with life, and integrate our whole selves.
There are countless breathing techniques available to explore, all with a variety of benefits and effects. Here is one simple and potent technique that you can incorporate any time, into most any activity:
Womb / Yoni Breathing
This is a beautiful, grounding style of breathing, in which you consciously send the breath to your sex center. It is a powerful practice to invite more life force, pleasure, and divine feminine energy flow into your being.
How to Practice:
Deeply inhale through the nose as you feel and visualize the breath extending all the way down to your womb space. Exhale slowly out your mouth. As you breathe in this way, notice if you are holding any tension in your pelvic muscles, and consciously relax them.
You can imagine filling up your yoni with light on the inhale, and releasing any stress into the Earth on the exhale.
Another way I like to play with this is to envision that the yoni herself is breathing, drinking air up on the inhale (flowing up through the vagina to cervix to womb), and then exhaling down (womb to cervix to vagina to Earth).
Practice as many rounds as you like, noticing how you feel.
If you wish to be guided through this experience, I have a beautiful 12-minute Yoni Breathing meditation that you can listen to for free on YouTube.
Begin to tune in and notice your breathing throughout the day. What is it like when you are doing certain tasks or interacting with certain people or situations? If you feel stress or tension arise in your body, or if you realize your breath is shallow and constricted, or when you simply want to feel more expansive and alive in any given moment, consciously invite deeper breaths. (You may be surprised at how quickly life begins to shift!)
Sound is an incredibly powerful tool for healing, awakening and clearing energy. However, through thousands of years of patriarchal suppression, we, especially as women, often experience deep-rooted blockages around fully and authentically expressing our voices. We are taught to believe that there is a certain “pretty,” “nice,” and “sexy” way that we are supposed to sound (in life as well as in our sexual experiences), and so we often shut off from the more organic and primal sounds that actually hold the keys to our true pleasure.
Be loving, patient and kind to yourself as you gradually open up to the wisdom and power of your vocal channel.
Consider your relationship to:
(Note that the throat and yoni are intimately connected, so bringing your attention to your pelvis during these practices helps your sounds be more rooted, authentic and potentially pleasurable.)
Sighing / Sounding Out the Mouth
How to Practice:
Take a deep breath in , all the way down into the pelvis. Focus your energy here in your pelvic bowl for a few breaths, easing any tension. Now begin to relax your jaw and open the mouth as you exhale, allowing whatever sound to come out – it may be a soft, subtle sigh, a long “aah” sound, a yell, a moan, a grunt, a roar, a hiss, a scream or any sound that feels good. Let go of the need to sound “pretty.” Play around, listening to the wisdom of your body, giving yourself permission to fully express whatever naturally wants to move through you. Allow your authentic feelings and emotions (especially the ones you’re trying to keep bottled up) to guide your sounds. If judgments, blocks or resistances arise – sound them out too. Continue for as long as you like, noticing how you feel.
Sounding Your Pleasure
The more you practice genuinely expressing yourself in all of your wild and messy flavors, the more your body opens to receive the flow of bliss that naturally exists within you. Giving sound to your pleasure is a powerful way to enhance and expand that pleasure into even greater states of ecstasy.
How to Practice:
Whenever you feel pleasure (even a tiny hint of it), give yourself permission to say ‘Yes’ to it (literally and/or metaphorically). Let yourself fully savor and revel in the moment by expressing your delight through authentic sound, and observe how this shifts your experience. I invite you to experiment with this during sexual pleasure as well as during daily simple pleasures such as enjoying a delicious meal, a hot shower, the scent of a flower, the feeling of the sun on your face, etc.
Remember, there’s no “right” way that pleasure sounds – only the unique way that it sounds through you in each present moment – and your pleasure is yours. It’s a gift – for you. Whether it comes through your body as soft, deep, quiet, tender, loud, high-pitched, low-pitched… through words, vowels, sighs, moans, whatever – it’s all human. It’s all perfectly imperfect and exquisitely beautiful.
Surrender your judgements and simply allow yourself to become a vessel for life to sing through.
Moving our bodies is how we express our aliveness. Typically, the more we move, the freer we feel; the more stagnant we are, the more stagnant we feel.
That said, we often move without much love or conscious intention, running around from this place to the next, accomplishing this and that, exhausting ourselves through busyness. Or, we exercise in some way because we know it’s good for us, and we think we “should” do it, even if it doesn’t bring us full pleasure or connection to our deeper selves.
This type of movement is much different than movement that comes through embodied presence and feminine flow… the kind of movement that makes you lose yourself, where you feel captivated by the rhythm of life.
Find a style (or styles) of movement that you truly love and that makes you feel connected to your pleasure.
Dance is an incredible way to tap into the free flow of natural, primal, erotic life force within you. Freestyle dancing is such a wonderful way to release energy, feel into your body, let go of inhibitions, structure and rules, and allow your divine feminine energy to move through you. There are also of course many other styles (i.e. belly dance, salsa dance, ecstatic dance, pole dance…) each one offering their own unique flavor to support our sensual awakening.
Some other good options may be things like yoga, chi gong, tai chi, aerial silks, swimming, etc. However, truly any style of movement is perfect as long it resonates for you and brings you genuine pleasure in your body.
Invite sensual movement into your daily life.
A powerful way to wake up the divine feminine essence (which in the Hindu Tantric tradition is known as Shakti, and is said to live coiled up like a serpent at the base of the spine), is to move your hips/pelvis, as well as your spine.
Hip Circles / Pelvic Movements
You can practice moving your hips in any position – sitting, standing, or laying down. You can make big circles or small circles. You can move slowly or quickly. You can move clockwise and counterclockwise, and in figure 8s. You can also play with rocking your pelvis back and forth, or experiment with shaking movements. If you’re laying down, you can gently bounce your pelvis up and down against the surface beneath you.
What other ways can you move your pelvis…? Be creative – this is your body, your practice.
The key is to breathe, stay present with yourself, and enjoy each micro-movement – allowing your sensuality and aliveness to awaken and guide you.
Undulate Your Spine
Intuitively move your spine in ways that feel good. The cat/cow movement in yoga is a great place to start. Play with moving in circles, side to side, creating wave-like movements, etc. As you bring fluidity, lubrication, and life force to your entire spine, notice how this makes you feel.
Yawn / Open Up Your Jaw
Your mouth/jaw and pelvic bowl are directly linked – when one is tight, usually so is the other. Make a habit of intentionally loosening and softening your jaw by opening it wide and/or yawning. You can also gently circle your neck around. This is a beautiful practice to incorporate especially when you feel like you are tightening your body under stress.
Walk with Pleasure
Since walking around is something we typically do at least relatively often (even short distances), why not do it with pleasure? Ask yourself, does the way that I walk feel truly good in my body? What subtle intentional adjustments to my strut might allow me to feel more dropped into my body and more radiant with pleasure? Play around with this, and see what you discover…
Begin to organically experiment with these simple feminine movements as you flow throughout your day, and see how they feel. Even as you read this right now, I invite you to pause and close your eyes for a moment, feel into your body and begin to circle your hips around / undulate your spine / relax your jaw… as you breathe and allow your natural goddess energy to move through you. Do this for at least several deep breaths, then open up your eyes and notice any shifts in your energy/emotions.
The sense of touch is associated with the heart chakra, and the hands are considered extensions of this space. Thus, we can nurture ourselves and bring our bodies pleasure through the act of conscious self-touch, not only during deep intentional practice like sacred sexuality or self-massage, but really any time during daily life.
The keys to exploring a healthy and pleasure-filled relationship with touch are consent, love, and presence. Oftentimes we unconsciously touch our bodies with intention to achieve something, whether we are washing our skin, getting dressed, brushing our teeth, or even just scratching an itch on our leg, we are often not showing up for ourselves with total love, kindness, and respect. It is a powerful practice to begin to recognize how you relate with self-touch and begin to inquire how you can honor yourself more deeply in each moment.
Touch yourself with Love, Kindness, and Nurturance.
Take a moment right now to feel into your body. Is there a place that could use some tender, loving, care? Explore touching this space in a way that feels most compassionate. Do you want to use one hand, two hands, just your fingertips, firm pressure, light pressure, stillness, movement? Treat yourself as you would a newborn child, with the utmost love and honor for your innocence and preciousness. Imagine channeling love and healing energy directly from your heart, through your hands, and into your body.
This is a wonderful way to tend to your body and emotions, and self-soothe during times of stress. You can bring this into any area of your life, any time that you need it.
Touch yourself with Pleasure and ask for consent first.
Now take a moment to feel into your body and take a few deep breaths.
Ask your body if you may explore her for the sake of pleasure. Listen for her answer. This consent piece may seem foreign to you at first, as we are often accustomed to unconsciously allowing our bodies to be touched even when we don’t want it, and thus, consent serves a vital role in developing a healthy relationship with touch, in which you are fully present, listening to yourself, and truly honoring your boundaries in each unique moment.
If you feel a no, consciously, curiously and lovingly explore this. Do you feel unsafe? Uncomfortable? Ashamed? What comes up for you? Is there a wound/fear/need that you need to process or address? Hold space for the unique sensations and emotions that are alive in you, and thank your body for whatever she shares with you. Honor yourself in whatever way you need. Be patient. There is no rush, no agenda. This is deep inner work that can serve you in profound ways in your relationship with yourself and others.
If you feel a yes, continue tuning into your body, and see if there is a place that calls to you to experiment with pleasure. It might be an erogenous zone like the back of your neck, behind your ears, or the creases of your elbows or knees… or it could be your face or scalp or breasts or hips… just listen to what your body asks for. And play around with different strokes, speeds, and pressures to find the type of touch that elicits the most enjoyable response in your body. Breathe. Sound. Move. Enjoy.
As you become more comfortable with your own pleasure, you can easily bring this simple tool into your life, and create a more embodied and pleasurable relationship with even the most mundane or routine activities. The next time you are at your desk, how does it feel to take a deep breath and gently glide your fingertips across your cheek or tenderly caress the inside of your palms…(all with loving consent, of course ;))?
And, with this awareness of conscious touch, ask yourself how can you begin to invite more loving, consensual and pleasurable awareness into the way that you bathe, dress and care for your body?
Tune in and ask her what she likes… Do your legs desire to slide more slowly into your pants and really feel the sensations of the fabric? Does your face want to be massaged more tenderly when applying oil or lotion? Just start to listen and curiously explore all the ways you can enjoy the beauty of touch.
Dear one, may these Divine Feminine Secrets support you on your path of remembering that you are a divine being – truly, a temple. You are infinity, beauty, love, magic incarnate. When you choose to come home to your body, give yourself permission to be and feel as you are, and incorporate your simple superpowers of presence, breath, sound, movement and touch – you open the gateway to the exquisiteness of your exist-dance.
Tiffany Ashaya Rose
If you enjoyed this article and feel a call to deepen your connection with your divine feminine energy, I invite you to come explore my 1:1 feminine embodiment coaching container, designed to deeply and personally guide you along your journey of healing your sacred sexuality and learning to truly love yourself as the amazing, powerful woman you are.
Want to stay in touch? Join my mailing list and receive a free meditation to your inbox, as well as musings, updates, and special offers.